Commitment phobic? Commit to yourself first and create the life you need

Who is the most important person in your life? Your child? Your spouse? Your mother? A great friend? Yes, it is a bit of a trick question, but the best answer is you. You are the most important person in your life, because as it relates to your health and fitness in particular, if you don’t take care of yourself as your highest priority, how can you possibly be there for the other important people in your life?

Too many of us struggle through life in a state of pseudo-acceptance, beating ourselves up because we aren’t enough of something, and then beating ourselves up again for beating ourselves up. A vicious cycle of negative self-talk and regret that mires us in a bog of indecision and self-recrimination, never resulting in getting a better life, just barely getting through.

So what are we to do? While this article is focused on the physical, everything has its foundations in the mind. As a result, the biggest and most important question to ask yourself is “What do I need?” This is different than what you want, because it addresses the nuance between needing something (a requirement) and wanting something (a like-to-have). If we sort our priorities by needs and then wants, we should end up with more satisfaction, and less long-term pain if needs are not met.

To help you along, here are four areas and probing questions that will help you re-commit to yourself and let go of the unnecessary things that you don’t need, even if you really want them.

Attitude: Rooted in the mind, and arguably your heart, your attitude will dictate how you process both the good and bad things in your life. Ask yourself, “Do I see my life as positive with a few challenges, or bad with a few good spots?” If it leans towards the latter, your attitude needs an injection of gratitude for all the amazing things and people you have in your life right now.

Sleep: Adequate sleep (between 7-9 hours per night) is critical to stress management and is directly related to your physical health, including your weight. Ask yourself, “What will I change so that I can enjoy 8 hours of sleep most nights of the week?” this may include watching less TV, consuming less caffeine, making your bedroom darker, and otherwise designing your lifestyle to encourage deep and restorative sleep.

Nutrition: Proper nutrition will dictate many aspects of your life experience from mood to health. This includes not only the primary foods that you consume, but also your hydration, and if necessary, what supplements you may need to optimize your nutrition. Ask yourself, “What foods can I eat more of and what foods will I eat less of to achieve the life I need?”

Exercise: Because of our mostly sedentary lives, getting exercise is important both for maintenance of health and resistance to the physical challenges we all face. Addressing all aspects of fitness includes strength, endurance, and flexibility, as well as secondary traits such as agility, speed, balance, and power, to name a few. Ask yourself, “What activities should I be doing more of to restore my body for the life I need?”

While volumes could be written on how to create the life you need, start with the easiest, smallest change that will make a difference. Even the smallest step will create momentum which you can build upon for the next step, and the step after that. Make yourself the most important person in your life and your potential will become clear. At the same time, consider that we all have potential; the difference between you and everyone else is that you will take action and create the life you need.